Addendum to "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you...God"

I just want to add some things and clarify the reasons for my last post.


Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the numbers of abortions taking place in our world today. I went to Lori Laws blog, Persevere
http://persevere-lori.blogspot.com/ and saw the counter there so I grabbed it to put on my blog. After putting it up and thinking about my own ignorance when I was young, I wondered how many other girls there had to be who were thinking of having an abortion, and like me, didn't have any idea what really happens to their baby during an abortion.


Granted, I was young when I looked into abortion as a way out of a bad situation and therefore I was very ignorant of most things in life. But I think that even if a person is older, if all they know is that having an abortion is just an 'easy fix', how many of them will really look into what it actually is or how it's done? But how many of them, when reading the material like I did back then, would actually go through with it?



I am not proud of what I almost did back then. After my last post some have said that they commend me for being honest. Although I appreciate the compassion and the compliment extended to me, I didn't post about this for that reason. I want nothing for sharing this part of my past and I certainly don't deserve a pat on the back. I thought that if just one person read my post and it made them reconsider getting an abortion, it would be well worth me 'airing my dirty laundry'.

Another reason for posting is that I'm sure there are women out there that have already had abortions and at this very minute are being torn apart by guilt and despair. They need to know that God's peace and forgiveness is always available to them, just for the asking. If any person is to find peace with God, they need to know that He will forgive us for anything, yes, even for killing a child. People need to see God in all of His mercy and love and know that He knows our deepest secrets and is still willing to accept us.


It's no secret that our days are going to be coming to an end very soon. Even non-believers are talking about it. I feel that it's important that we, as Christians, become transparent to the world. Too many unbelievers think that Christians are weak and don't understand them because we're not walking in their shoes. I think it's important for them to see that Christians sin too. We too have wallowed in sin and despair, so deep sometimes that we felt trapped or felt like there was no way out. It's important to know that we all have the option to go to Him with all the muck in our lives. If we do, God will find us and meet us right where we are. He accepts us BEFORE we are sin free and loves us just as if we are pure even though we aren't. That is why we choose the road less traveled, commit our lives to Him and that is why we are so passionate about Our God.

There's not much time to plant the seeds in the world and win souls to Christ. What better way to show the world how awesome God is than to show them the sins that God has already washed away. I personally need to 'shout from the rooftops' the mercy, forgiveness and love that God is all about and these are all available to anyone. All you need to do is ask.

Will you ask Him today?

Before I Formed You In The Womb, I Knew You....GOD

At age 52 it's interesting to reflect back , look at my life and see the different areas that God stepped in. In my teen years I remember at one time thinking about becoming a veterinarian. I even checked into schools in my area and the closest one was 2 hours north of my home town. I never really got serious about it though because even going to high school was something I tried to get out of every chance I could. In those days, I was what others considered to be a 'rebel'. I skipped school so much that when I finally did show up for class, my teachers asked who I was. Pretty bad, huh?!

I know I put my mother through a lot. She sure didn't deserve the trouble I caused but I was too self centered to put much thought into what I was doing to her or my future. I quit school as soon as I could do it legally and got myself a babysitting job. Although my mom taught us about values and kept us in church the best she could, I rebelled at every attempt she made to keep me on the straight and narrow. If there's ever a time that I wish I could have do-overs, it's then. I really put her through a lot of pain.

As with most rebellious teens, I got into things that I'm not very proud of and had a fair share of close calls with the law. But one thing that happened taught me the meaning of being scared to death. Soon after I had quit school, I found myself facing the fact that I was pregnant. Boy, talk about wrong timing! My dad had been killed when I was only 8 years old so my mother had struggled through many years of trying to raise 5 kids with keeping us fed, clothed and a roof over our heads. Now here I was, giving her problems almost weekly and then I give her the news that I'm pregnant!

Before I told my mom, I thought I'd take my 'problem' to a few close friends and see what they had to say first. We discussed how others handled similar situations and of course the word abortion came into our conversation. It's strange because although it was an option that a few of us had heard about, none of us had really discussed what it was all about but just accepted that it was a way out of a bad situation. I don't know if it was something that I had missed in one of those classes that I skipped but I honestly didn't know anything about what was involved.

The fear that gripped me was something I will never forget. I was only 16 and had my entire life before me and being a mom was not something I was prepared for mentally much less financially. I didn't know what I was going to do. I surely didn't want to put more on my mothers shoulders. She and I had our problems but I had watched her struggle for what seemed like my whole life with finding enough money to supply our family with what we needed. All I could do was find out what options I had. In hindsight, I can look back and clearly see where God was and how He made me the way I am for a reason. I am a researcher. I love to just take a subject, study it and pretty much dissect it until there is not one shred of information that I haven't checked out. To begin researching the abortion option, I planned the next day to make the trip to the library to find out everything that I could.

(WARNING...for those weak at heart, you may want to skip this paragraph)
I still vividly remember that day. Making my way through the halls of the library and finding the area where the books on abortion were, I discreetly picked up a book off the shelf. I didn't take it to a table for fear of running into someone I knew so I just stayed there between the tall shelves. I sat in the window sill next to the books and began flipping through the pages. Stopping on a page with a few pictures in black and white I tried to make out what it was before me. I had to turn the book in different directions because my eyes weren't grasping what I was seeing. I gave up, turned it back upright and then started to read. It didn't take more than one or two sentences before I become horrified and literally could not believe what it was saying. I realized that I was reading about a baby that was in the pictures. This tiny little human being had been sucked from the mothers womb and was in a pool of blood and tiny human pieces. After reading that sentence I again looked at the pictures. This time I was able to see a tiny little foot among other things that were not distinguishable. My face became hot as I felt my gut start to twist and my heart beat rapidly as the realization of what I was looking at and what this book was telling me began to sink in. As the tears began to well up in my eyes I quickly closed the book. I didn't even put the book back but just left it there on the window sill as I ran out of the library.

The rest of the story is simple. I did not get an abortion. It took many years and even more prayers to get to a place where I am able to face the fact that I was this close to killing my son. I thank God that He made my personality the type that investigates things thoroughly. Had I been different, the type of person to just accept what others say, that abortion is an 'answer' to a problem, it's very possible that I may have gone through with it. The guilt is very real even if I didn't actually do it and I can only imagine how much pain there is for those that have done it.

My son, the baby I was blessed with then, is wonderful. He is married to a beautiful and intelligent woman and they've given me 2 precious granddaughters. God had a plan for me and him. He has one for each one of us. When we mess up and turn down the wrong path, He will intervene if we let Him. My prayer is that others that are faced with this 'problem' realize that God does everything for a reason. All things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. What I want those in similar situations to understand is this. God knew us before we were even conceived. That means He plans children so who are we to consider other options. The following verse speaks loudly to this!

Jeremiah 1:4-5
The word of the LORD came to me, saying, Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;

This scripture makes it very clear when life begins.

Father, we come to you with broken hearts for all the children that die from abortion. We ask that you cradle them in your mighty arms, hold them close to your heart Lord and bring them home to a place that's safe and secure where they will find your pure unconditional love. We ask that you sustain the mothers of these and all little one's and help them realize your mercy and unconditional love. Guide them to you in their conviction in the midst of their pain and fear. Help them to fall to their knees and humbly seek you for strength and guidance and a new direction. Deliver them Father, to your side where they will find forgiveness, comfort and peace. We ask these things in the powerful and precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen

Cancer Isn't Scary?...WhatEVER!!!

I'd like to introduce to you all, my brother, Al (or as we call him, Butch), and his wife, Jenny. His blog is called "Bridging the Struggle" at http://cancer-isnt-scary.blogspot.com.

Sounds like a strange title and certainly an attention grabber, huh. And you may beg to differ claiming that cancer IS scary. Let's face it, the last thing people want to hear after seeing a doctor is the big 'C' word. But if you make yourself go beyond the 'what ifs' and view the subject in reality, you'd have to admit that our lives can be over in an instant, whether we are totally healthy or terminally ill. God has the final say on that. It's the journey to that end which establishes those character traits in each of us that makes us who we are.


I've had some interesting conversations with my brother and his wife, who has been battling cancer for many years now, about our days here on earth and our purpose for life. Trying to figure out where God has placed us and for what reasons. In the end, it's always the same answer. We are here because He has chosen us for specific tasks and whether we fight our purpose or go with the flow, we still only have so much time to live.


We are told to make each day count. Many years ago I worked in a secured facility as a jailer. Most of the inmates came from backgrounds that left much to be desired. How does one 'make each day count' when your life is stagnant, stuck in a place where the situation literally dictates how you will live from moment to moment. Do we sit and contemplate how utterly unfair it all is? Do we allow ourselves to become embittered over the fact that as a young person, we had such huge magnificent plans for our life, yet that dream has never unfolded because of circumstances beyond our control. Then there are those that place the blame for their struggles on the past. Usually mom or dad, and then badmouth them for dealing them a bad hand from the start?


We each have a choice about how we view our lives and what we do with the lot that we've been handed. My brother and his wife have been in the middle of some pretty disheartening circumstances for quite some time. If anyone has reason to shake their fist at God, they certainly do. Not that they haven't been there before. Probably many times. Of course each of them will have those days where they feel it's too much to endure and question God why. And even days where they are angry and fed up with the daily struggles, the unfairness of it all.

But let's face it. We live in a broken world and as long as we do we will have our battles to face. Ephesians 6:12 says,

'For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms.'

If life has dealt us a bad hand, we need to allow God in. He can take what we have and liberate us from the bonds that usually can imprison us if we try to do it our own way without Him. No, according to my brother, the cancer isn't scary and it isn't even important. He and Jenny have struggled with this for too long and I'm quite sure that they just do not want to give the cancer any more of themselves than it's already taken. The road traveled with cancer can be a very rough trying road. But if you allow it to, it can consume your entire world and ultimately get in the way of your walk with God. My heart breaks when I see what Butch and Jenny have to endure and most of the time I feel powerless to do anything to relieve their pain. But I'm thankful that they both have a solid relationship with their Savior.

Since all of us know our days on this earth are numbered, how we leave this earth is not as important as how committed we are to our relationship with our God while we are here. My brother and his wife have placed their struggles as well as their lives in the capable hand or God. Cancer isn't scary to them because they've found the solid foundation in Him.

Give them a visit over on their blog? I feel they are good people. You can find them at:
http://cancer-isnt-scary.blogspot.com

Do Not Fear, God IS In Control!!

Sorry I haven't been around in awhile. I have too many things going on but I won't into that here. This is a place for me to get away from 'all that'.

All I've heard anywhere lately is about the election, the possibilities if Barack Obama is elected, how the end is here and B.O. is the beginning of the end. I have been doing a lot of talking myself. It's the first election that I can remember that there has been so much fear, intimidation, fighting among family, and even talk about arming our homes !

I've found myself watching FOX news more than any time in my life and I don't usually watch the news! Yes, things are getting intense. But what I feel that God is speaking to his people is that we need to stay focused. Lately I've had a song continuously running in my mind...Keep our eyes on Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will look strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace! Do any of you remember that song? I love it and it has many times brought me back to the realization that He's the one that we need to focus on. He is more powerful than any President, group, agency or party.

When I read His word this morning I found something that has always been a comfort. In times like this, we need to be reminded just how big our God is. Isaiah 40:12 & 15

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighted the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? ......V 15, Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weights the islands as though they were fine dust.

I have to refer to these types of scriptures. In fact, depend on them many times when facing problems or, like now, the world is looking so bleak. I think of the safety of my children and grandchildren, my friends and their children or all of those that I love and care about. When my guard is down, I fear for them. I can take care of my relationship with God but I can't for them. I can't be there when the going gets so tough or the stressors are coming from every direction. But I can lift them up to the Lord and remember Isaiah 40:11

He tends His flock like a Shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart. He gently leads those that have young.

He has given us the privilege to pray. The knowledge and wisdom to know that He's got it all in control and He loves us enough to include His protective hand over those that are close to our hearts. He's given us all of the tools to fight against the enemy in Ephesians 6:10-18.

As Children of the King, we are favored! Wow, read Isaiah 40:12 & 15 again. Now realize that WE have HIS FAVOR! Yes, I will vote tomorrow but God is the one who is really in control. I kind of like rubbing elbows with the power of God. How about you?