Another Chance

What was I thinking when I gave up my 'kids? They were a huge part of my life and I just gave them up, like they meant nothing to me! You're probably getting ready to throw me to the dogs right about now aren't you? Well, I'm talking about my 3 miniature horses! See, it's not as bad now is it? But it was to me!

Those little guys meant the world to me. Each one had their own unique personality which came along with their own vices. The little colt was a gift from a dear friend and was my first foal I've ever trained, the mare had attitude with a capital 'A' but she was 'my pretty pony' and the gelding was the one I had gotten first so we learned from each other. Together, they fit with the other like an awkward sort of puzzle. They were the perfect little posse.

As much as I loved them, I had found myself in a desperate place, being more limited with my abilities to care for them or spend any quality time so I felt forced to let them go. It's always hard to lose a pet but these were especially difficult for me. My favorite animals are horses and these were a horse , but in a teeny tiny package.

Since they left in the spring of this year I discovered the pasture to be a very empty and sometimes haunting place and even found it difficult to just go out in the yard without breaking down. I kept telling myself that my decision was good for both them and me. They'd get some much deserved attention now and maybe I and my hubby would get more time to ourselves. HA, it didn't happen that way at all. My 'kids' ended up getting separated almost from the start. Although the colt was doing well, I had heard the mare kept getting into trouble and my little chestnut gelding, although he also got in trouble by pushing other horses around, wound up getting very depressed. Yes, animals DO go through depression. I kept up on their progress (or lack of) and missed them more than I ever dreamed I could. Each time I talked with their new owners it would make me miss them more and I wondered if I'd done the right thing.

Do we ever know if we do the 'right' thing? I mean, we can analyze and reason things out but at the end of the day, don't we have to live with the choices we make anyway? Not always. Sometimes God will give us another chance. When that happens we thank Him and hope we learn from the mistakes we've made. In fact, I just left that once lonely pasture and said goodnight to 2 of my 'kids', my pretty pony with the big attitude and the chestnut gelding who is STILL teaching me about myself. They are finally back home where they belong. Oh, and the little colt? He's a very happy little guy in his new home and I'm happy for him. Thank God for another chance for all of us.

The Cold Hard Fact is, I'm a Kindergarter Blogger :(

I'm so new at this blogging stuff and today I tried for at least a couple hours to just put a link on here. Well, it really wasn't a link, it was a ....well a.......oh never mind! Anyway, as you can see, I was unsuccessful since the only stuff I do have on my blog are posts and widgets. So now what? I didn't really look too hard yet, but I'm hoping I can find a blog that teaches about blogging a b c's OR 1,2, 3's or whatever you want to call a completely green blogger. I do know it can't be blogging 101 because that would only be for those 'freshman' bloggers right? I feel I haven't even reached that level yet. If we look at it relative to school years, I believe that puts me right around the kindergartner level. No, really! When I click on a link that is supposed to show how to do something, I don't understand the blog lingo (or would it be computer lingo?) so then I try to find a link to that link that shows how to understand the 'how to' page!

It looks like it's going to be more like a job to do this blog than a hobby. I see people all over the net doing multiple blogs at a time and I'm having problems just doing 'a' post on one blog. Yup, I'm in blog kindergartner. So, if you 'freshman' bloggers think you want to take a greenie under your wing, here I am. But be prepared because I had to do research just to find out what a widget was.

Urban Development~ Is There A Vaccine Yet?

Well, there should be because I feel a fever coming on~

My husband and I have been blessed with a farm, high on the bluffs in Minnesota. Great huh! Well, as much as I thank The Author of the beauty that's outside of my windows, unbelievably there is a downside. There is a disease running rampant out there which has reached epidemic proportions. In a word (or 2), it's name is URBAN DEVELOPMENT!

Here we are, 40 acres of absolutely breathtaking views, endless forms of wildlife, fresh air, and sounds of nature and this is just naming a few of the blessings that we enjoy in my back yard. The fall is my favorite time with all the different colors and the crisp air, or maybe it's the spring with the multitude of wild flowers blooming and everything just seems to come alive, awakening from the sleep of winter....OK, I probably will never decide on this because each season brings it's own expression of life and still amazes me that one place can have so many faces. The common thread among them all is that the wildlife remains constant. I'll never grow tired of seeing a herd if deer grazing in our big back yard.

In 1995 we bought the old farm which came with about 40 acres and much needed peace and tranquility. There was about 7 miles between our little piece of paradise and the chaos of the city. Although the size of the city is not one where you'd need the assistance of a map to find the nearest convenience stores, none the less, it is a city and not where we chose to live. But since 1995, without our choosing we've basically 'moved' about 4 miles closer! How does that happen? I thought that you had to actually 'move'..to move. Mixed now in the midst of our 'tranquility', we hear sirens, fireworks, trucks hauling, kids screaming, dogs barking and all the things that come with city life. I'm thinking maybe we can just move our house to the BACK of the 40 acres instead of being on the front where the city is crawling right toward us. But judging from what has already happened as well as what appears to be a world wide epidemic, IF we did that, it's very probable that in another 10 years, another city would be crawling up to our door step on the opposite side.

In every case wouldn't it be highly unlikely or more accurately, almost impossible, to give back to nature what's been selfishly taken? I think this fact is one that warrants at least a fight. OUR wilderness, YOURS and mine, is dwindling quickly. Every day the news brings increasingly more stories of wild animal sightings and attacks in the towns and cities than ever before because their natural habitat is being destroyed. It appears that the majority of people no longer hold valuable the preservation of what was in place before we got here. (To you evolutionists, DON'T argue!...I'm the MOM!..plus, about 60% of the scientists believe it too! But that's an entirely different blog.)

OK, I'll stop the whining for the moment. For me personally, I certainly would give up, in a New York minute (little jab there) the tiny bit of convenience that this 'move' has given me for the way it used to be. Since we can't go back in time, I'm just going to have to vow to fight it when I can. But I swear, when they finally reach the technology where people can actually move to the moon, IF it's anything like our planet use to be, I'll be packing my bags!

A Kiss From God

Just the other day I was thinking of that idiom that goes, 'you can't judge a book by it's cover'. (Yes, once in awhile, I actually do just think about things like that). I had been talking with a friend when she mentioned how her son was having a lot of problems being teased by other kids in school. She was looking for advice and as we talked I couldn't help but remember my own pain as I was growing up.

I was born with a crossed eye and the other children couldn't get past how I looked. I remember feeling like the cruelty was literally endless. The teasing didn't stop when I got home from school. It happened everywhere I went and even extended into my own family. Although this very much affected my self esteem which I struggled with for too many years, I've ultimately found that it made me who I am today. In fact without it, I may have ended up being a little less forgiving and a lot more judgemental of others. I know you're probably thinking, "whoa, wait a minute! What did she just say?"Well, just hang in there and let me explain.

As with most teens, prior to and into my teenage years, I desperately tried to find my place in the world by trying different paths, both good and bad, and just searching for who I was and where I fit in. But aside from the normal struggles, I just wanted to understand why God made me different. I spent many nights in my room crying and asking Him why but I don't remember ever getting angry with Him.

My father had died when I was 8 and my mother did the best she could to help me just accept it. But she had explained to me that the God that made me, loved me, was with me always and he had a plan for me. Although I questioned all of that, because she was my mom I believed her. I knew she didn't lie and that was huge to me.

Throughout my early teen years I constantly searched for an answer. Then one day I ran onto an article written by a woman and she told how she had been born with a birth mark that stretched across the entire left side of her face. As I read it, I couldn't get over the fact that she came across as so very strong and sure of herself. In a world that puts so much value in appearances, how did SHE overcome the negative attention that this had to have brought to her life? She went on to say that during her childhood years her dad had told her that she too was loved by God and He had a master plan for her. He said that because our Father in heaven has so many children to keep track of, He makes codes for those that He's got special missions for. Her dad told her that God had placed a kiss on her cheek so it would be easier for the angels to find her when He needed her.

Well, it appears that my mom was right! Call me gullible but this story was just what I had been looking for. God knew that and He provided the answer. I no longer questioned why I looked the way I did. Of course people still noticed and I even continued to get teased but it was different now. I felt sorry for all of those kids that didn't have a special kiss from God.

The Wall of Whine

This blog was created simply to allow a place for me (and you) to express ourselves and yes, to whine.
Actually, my main focus is just to talk about life and the juice that's left over after life's lemons are tossed our way from time to time.

How many times have you heard that wonderful phrase, 'everything happens for a reason'? (which now will be referred to as 'EHFAR') Yeah, Me too, maybe...oh...a million or so, right? Well, I'm here to tell you that this statement is TRUE! I've gone through more tough times in my life than any person should have to at my age and I've found that there usually, and almost always are, puddles of juice left behind, whether the lemon just grazes your head or you get smacked right in the face with it.

Frankly, at the time, when those well meaning people are there trying to console me about whatever situation I'm in, while I'm perched high on my 'Wall of Whine', I'd like to just smack em along side the head and tell them where they can stick their 'EHFAR' But I don't. I let them feel as if they're doing a good job at being helpful.

I mean, there I am, wallowing in what I've always thought was my puddle of despair, wanting the 'well meaning' soul to just let me have my moment to cry, scream or hit something. I don't want to hear about how someday I'll look back and see the good in it.

But then, usually a whisper comes in my mind of a previous time that I was so devastated by a hit from a gigantic lemon. I remember it but the pain has faded just a little or the anger is almost gone. I find that I've really learned something from that particular incident. That puddle of despair that I had been wallowing in was actually a puddle of lemon juice. Lemon juice has healing properties and among other things, aids in helping the digestion system.

So now it all makes sense. Although the lemon itself is pretty sour to taste, just like the lemons that make their appearances in the different scenes of our lives, the juice that's left behind IS something good..something that makes you wonder if the souls that tell you EHFAR, really do know what they're talking about. And although it's a difficult concept to swallow while you're wallowing in the puddle of despair and perched upon your wall of whine, we can almost count on the fact that the puddle will turn into something that we later in life, can use to help process, digest and learn from, for that next lemon that comes our way!